Blog Archives

365 Day Update #2-Meeting Goals and weight update

Hey all!

Things have been going pretty great with my weight loss and healthy life style so far. Come tomorrow I will officially have been doing this for 2 months! Yay for consistency! I’ve been crazy busy with work, graduate school, and MCAT studying, but I still have managed to find the time to go to the gym. No clue why I had so many excuses in years past when I wasn’t anywhere near as busy. Just a few days ago I finished my first full 30 minute “run” at an 11:19 pace. I know for some of you thats slow, but with my health history and back problems I’m really proud of it. Just gotta keep pushing =] Also this is the first  time I’ve been incorporating rolling hills into my treadmill work outs. Yes it sucks during, but man do I feel strong at the end! I highly recommend it if you haven’t tried it yet. On a completely superficial note, my butt is 100% shaping up. For a girl with no butt, thats exciting! Its the rolling hills or listening to “All about the Base” when I’m running, thats doing the magic. Take your pick.

On top of that my DIET has been pretty great for the most part. Its fall, I’m going to rock apple cider and doughnuts at least once. Healthy lifestyle change isn’t synonymous with deprivation, it means moderation and accounting and adjusting for those treats. I refuse to feel guilty about enjoying my life and food here and there. My hectic schedule has actually helped in the diet department. I don’t eat out (aint nobody got money for that!) so I have packed my food for lunch and dinner the night before. This has allowed me to plan my meals out very carefully. I personally use my fitnesspal and love it. I MEAN LOVE IT! I suggest you try it out if you’re wanting to get started on meal planning and not sure what a healthy limit is. Its what I used the first time I lost weight as well. I love that you can look at your macro and micronutrients to help round out your diet. Eating clean is 80% of the battle so it helps to have some guidance.

Finally, about my goals. A day earlier than I said, I am under 200lbs! As of this morning I am 199.5lbs. It feels so darn good to finally be out of the over 200lb range. Don’t get me wrong, I still have a lot of work to do, but it feels so good to be getting back into shape. To see the numbers change feels really good, even though I have to remind myself that it won’t always be this way and its not all about the numbers, it still is exciting! In 2 months I have lost a grand total of 25.5 pounds and 35.5lbs from my peak. I’m so happy to say I think I’m finally back to my healthy ways. Hopefully for good this time.
Hope you all have a restful weekend and a great week!

Much love everyone!

Peak Weight: 235lbs

Start Weight: 225lbs

Current Weight:199.5lbs

Weight loss so far: 35.5lbs

Advertisements

Closet Cleaning & Weight Update

In addition to healthy eating I believe it’s important to keep your living space healthy as well. I’m not talking about cleanliness, though it is supposedly next to godliness. I’m talking about clutter. The clutter I accumulate oh so easily with my sentimental/hoarder ways. The biggest problem for me is clothes. Especially with how drastically my weight fluctuation is, its hard to let go of clothes. Even though I may not have worn it in ages, despite weight gain or loss, the voice in the back of my head says, “What if you NEED it later?” So I’ve been planning what I’ve labeled as, “The Purge”. I went through my whole closet tried EVERYTHING on and downsized. If I hesitated, I kept the mantra of there is something better that I’d rather wear. GET RID OF IT! I also had to rule of, if it went into the trash bag, it was NOT allowed to come out. I then reorganized my closet and took the bag to the mission. I believe it is more important to try to donate to homeless shelters than places like Goodwill when possible. Not to knock them, since I shop there all the time, just personal views. Honestly, it feels great! I feel like I’ve eliminated a ton of junk. This is also going to help a ton with  summer coming to an end and yet another move coming my way.No point in moving and carrying things around I won’t wear or want to keep. Next on the list is the jewelry and bathroom purge. But those are way less time consuming that the closet. So yay!

Diet has been going okay. I’ve had a hard time starting back up with mini binges but I think I’ve finally gotten it under control. I realize for me the tradition has to be a bit slower to avoid feeling like I’m starving right off the bat. I found this is easiest for me since its a drastic adjustment because my struggle is portions, and I’m used to just filling myself. Instead of cutting off right away slowly doing it helps me stay on track. I’m proud to say I am down to 209.6 lbs! Which means I get my first “reward” off my list. Pedicure time with mom! =] Super excited and happy to be losing weight once again.

Have a great week everyone!

B

Peak Weight: 235lbs

Start Weight: 225lbs

Current Weight:209.6lb4

Weight loss so far: 25.4lbs

Numbers and such

I figured I should write out how I’m restarting. Last week I was around 215-218lbs but this morning I found myself at 212.6 lbs. Yay, better than where I was.Today I’m starting over eating healthier. Also, my sister and I plan on going for a walk or a mini bike ride. Its not going to be very intense but better than nothing right? I’m getting my life together and things organized which is exciting. Its about to be a great year =] Another up, I probably will be seeing M in 2 days. So excited ^.^

-B

Peak Weight: 235lbs

Start Weight: 225lbs

Current Weight:212.6 lb4

Weight loss so far: 22.4lbs

A Mothers Approval-An emotional, honest, and raw post

Sometimes all you need is a mother’s approval. 

So, currently sitting in Panera writing this getting ready to bunker down and do some homework. Unfortunately  I am sitting at a big table for 4 when it’s busy because there were NO OTHER CHAIRS so I look like a jerk. Dear, Panera goers, I am NOT A JERK. There were just no other tables! I swear.

Anyway. I just felt the need to write this post because of what just took place. My mom said “Good Job” for the amount of weight I’ve lost. This is the first compliment my mothers has given me about my body. This has been the first not backhanded compliment/encouragement she has made since I’ve started this journey. She was dropping me off  at Panera while the oil in my car was being changed. She said she was looking at old pictures of me and my sister, and it was amazing to her, the amount of weight we’ve both lost. “Good Job”. I just nodded back a bit dumb founded and not sure how to react. My mother and my relationship is a bit complicated to say the least.

Some Back Story: She has always been thin and beautiful one.She is my superhero. Not many people can say their mother went back to school while working part time and having 2 children both under the age of 3 with pets. Though I know she loves me, growing up she has been somewhat wrapped up in her own life. I went through a really rough time with both my parents once I got past the age of 13. I have had random moments of depression and a lot of my own issues that they never really knew about. Partially because I didn’t tell them but partially because they didn’t care to know or address it. Its made me and my parents relationship somewhat distant and weird. Since coming to college it has gotten better, but it is far from ideal. Most of that is because I honestly hold back and keep to myself, but if it keeps the house peaceful I’m for it. I wish I could say that me and my mom are best friends like Rory and Lorelei Gilmore, but we aren’t. Its just a fact. I wish I could share things with them, but its just not our relationship.

Back to the present: I’m sitting just confused about what took place. Any time my mother has commented on my body, before or after weight loss it has always been about how I could lose a bit more. Or how I could eat better. Or where I could get connected for help. Or how some article of clothing will look better in a few months. She has always tried to keep improving me. She means well but with my body issues and probably a mix of me being sensitive its taken a toll on me. I’ve never felt that she has been very happy with me. Please do NOT critique my mother, its my own feelings that need to be evaluated here, not her.  I’ve never felt like I could ever just be enough with her. I don’t think she has meant to do this and I know she loves me but its been hard. For a long time now I have been wanting her to make some sort of positive comment. Even more so with my weight loss. Just say one good thing about how I look nice not that I need to keep going. Trust me I KNOW I need to keep going. I’ve just been waiting for what feels like for FOREVER for this one little thing. For her stamp of approval.

Sitting in Panera now I realize I have been subconsciously striving for my mothers approval for what appears to be years. Its so obvious to me now. I’ve ached for it even more since my weight loss started since this past summer.Thinking that once it’s gone I’d finally be enough. Looking back I’m realizing that when that compliment never came this past summer/fall, I finally gave up on ever hearing it. After losing so much weight she still never said it. What else could I do? I came to terms that I needed to accept myself and let that be enough. But as I write this I find myself on the brink of tears. She said it. She finally said it, and I have this raw hallow ache in my chest. Its so hard to explain. I don’t know what to say or how to analyze it. But I knew I needed to write it down, get it out, tell someone. Even if its just a computer screen. Not sure if its a happy or sad feeling, but its a feeling all the same.

Sometimes all you need is a mother’s approval. 

Quick weight update.Still going good. Eating healthy. Been sick since spring break started so havent been able to hit the gym the way I wanted. With this cold though, there was no way. Almost to those beautiful 170s!

With peace,

-B

Peak Weight: 235lbs

Start Weight: 225lbs

Current Weight:182.8lb4

Weight loss so far: 52.2lbs

50lbs! Posting pictures! With a slight concern?

Hi everyone!

I have officially lost 50lbs!!! Oh my gosh thats nuts! Its crazy to think I was carrying around all that extra weight. For every extra pound on your body that places 4lbs on your knees. I have released 200lbs on my knees. So I’ve been very steadily and rapidly loosing weight. I’ve chalked it up to eating clean and running every day as well as free weights every other day straight for two weeks. However, I am somewhat concerned because I feel the weight is coming off really fast which ISN’T normal to me. I lost 30lbs very very slowly. Granted I didn’t eat as clean then and I’ve been reading 80% is diet and 20% is the gym which would explain it a bit. My concern lies in the fact that I ALWAYS want to be healthy about my weight loss. I’ve looked over what I’m eating and its pretty well balanced as well as I am over calorie limits pretty frequently. I’m just working out to compensate. So I’m not anywhere near starving myself, I like food too much to do so. Also I’m a bit surprised because every now and then I’m eating small “bad” things like 3 mini Reesces peanut butter cups to treat myself. I can’t eliminate all chocolate forever, it only will make dieting harder! AT least for me it would. But here are some pictures. I am without a doubt smaller than I was in high school! I just have to keep going =]

Me summer 2011 probably close to my 235lb->summer 2012 after 30lbs-> Me now 50lbs lighter than the first!

Before Summer 2011

Before Summer 2011- Weight roughly 235

After: Summer 2012

After: Summer 2012- Weight roughly 205.5

184

Me now! Winter 2013 184.5lbs

I also finally have collar bones? I’ve never had them. Its just a start but I need to focus on the changes because lately I haven’t seen much of a difference between picture 2 above and now.

Photo on 2-19-13 at 9.12 AM #4

Collar bones? Winter 2013 184.5lbs

Me around my 16th birthday

summer 2007

summer 2007

Me in the sameish outfit now

Photo on 2-19-13 at 5.43 PM

-B

Peak Weight: 235lbs

Start Weight: 225lbs

Current Weight:184.8lb4

Weight loss so far: 50.2lbs

Stepping on the Scale day 1

So after a decent-ish weekend of working out and such I decided to weigh myself to see if I got the week one drastic drop and I did. Yay! Its only been 3 days and I lost 1 lb. Granted its week one and I usually loose the most weight at this time I need to try to keep in mind that it won’t always be like this. To keep some perspective I reread my own weighing in on weigh-in post. I suggest it if you’re someone who tends to struggle with the number on the scale. Don’t worry, we all do.

 

I think my next post is going to be regarding cravings since I’m having them up to the yin yang today. Ugh. Week one for sure.

Here is to another day of being happy healthy and alive. 

-B

Peak Weight: 235lbs

Start Weight: 225lbs

Current Weight:189.0lbs

Weight loss so far: 46.0lbs

I’m BACKKKKKKKKK!

Hey all,

So I’ve been not writing for a while. I also had stopped loosing weight and working out. I had a rough semester a mix of having severe mono, getting over my ex, finding my place and way around school again. It was just one giant cluster F. I gained and lost and ultimately was able to pretty much maintain in the 195lbs range. But I decided its time to start caring about myself again. Being selfish and taking the time for myself.

I find that for me, setting short term goals and writing them down helps me.

1-Get back into the habit of eating “clean”

2-Exercise 4 days a week and go hard. If I’m not sore, I did it wrong. Possibly go again.

3- Get back to church. Which I’ve started some.

4-Stop procrastinating school!!! I’m the worst at this.

5-Be the best RA possible.

6-Be able to run a 9 minute mile

7-Be able to run a 5k without stopping.-yep, I lost all my hard work this summer. Gah.

But thats about it. 7 goals. I want to keep these for the next 5 weeks. So one week after my personal spring break. Here is to hopping this all works out.Sorry for this being so random if anyone is reading, I just needed this out of my head. Well, I’m off to the gym!

-B

Peak Weight: 235lbs

Start Weight: 225lbs

Current Weight:190.0lbs

Weight loss so far: 45.0lbs

Massive Life Update

Hey Everyone!

I hope you’re all doing amazing and I believe I owe you all a massive update!

Starting with the color run. My goodness is was awesome amazing colorful fun! I had a blast and would do it all over again in a heartbeat. The race itself wasn’t that hard because of so many people we had to slow our run down. There were a few times where I was pretty sure I could walk faster but I still was having a good  time. It was fun to actually run with the girls since we all were running together. Joking and laughing. The energy of the crowd was insane. The course lapsed back on itself so people were screaming whoohoo and high-fiveing. It was a fantastic energy boost. Downtown Grand Rapids was insanely packed. But we got there and managed to leave in the “6th” wave and finished in less than 30minutes. The Paint Chaser girls are the loves of my life and I couldn’t have done it without them! Thank you Ladies.

What has been keeping me SUPER busy was RA training. I moved into my new place and hit R.A training in full swing. My dorm itself got moved to the graduate assistant room because of the university being so full. So now I have a full sized kitchen! =] Its a bit smaller, but its okay. Some highlights to this year’s RA training was doing the ropes course as well as my staff winning the annual R.A volleyball game. Its been a lot of fun! Other than those two things R.A training has been a lot of sitting, eat unhealthy food, and lectures so my weight has gained a bit. But I have managed to make some healthier choices in my options. Another really awesome thing we did was the President of my university hosts a dinner at his house for all the RA’s. The staff got all dressed up and went. Also, my staff is amazing this year! We all get along so well. Its nuts how great it is. To top it off my door decorations and bulletin boards are rocking to start out and I’ve met two of my residents. I am pumped but move in is actually monday (Oh my goodness!) and I really am not quite ready. But here goes nothing. Senior year here I come!

Church has been going okay. I’ve had to miss my “Go groups” and church itself. Hopefully I will be going tomorrow as well. I also am working into my mission trip stuff. Hopefully it will be sooner rather than later. In the fall I may be hosting a “go group”. I’m really nervous about it but I think it’ll be great. I also, need to finalize my classes for the next year or so. But that has been put on the back burner until move in passes. I also have a test monday morning with the possibility of a new job. Wish me good luck on that one!

Hopefully I am going home this weekend to get  few things from home and return a few others. See my family before things get a little too crazy.

I’m about to go finish cleaning and pass out. But that is it.

Grace and Peace,

-B

Peak Weight: 235lbs

Start Weight: 225lbs

Current Weight:198.0lbs

Weight loss so far: 37lbs

Goal setting

Goal setting is something that is important in all aspects

of life. Work, school, fitness, health, even fun things like sports and activities. Often time we find ourselves subconsciously setting goals and when we meet them we feel a sense of pride and accomplishment. Often we do this in things we are GOOD at. Things we know well and know we can do IF we push ourselves. But how do you set attainable goals if you DON’T know what you’re doing?

This is how I felt when I started loosing weight. I didn’t really know what was normal or how quickly I could improve. Personally, they key to staying on track (At least for me) with long term goals like my weight loss is picking small attainable goals. But I didn’t know WHAT was a “small goal”.

After some online research and sifting through the bullshit loose 5lbs in 5 days diets., I figured some things out. This time, I wanted it to be different. I wanted my weight loss to actually work. So I thought I should write my goals down, and I did. Here and on a piece of paper. In addition to the #’s I made lots of goals about physical ability. This way it wasn’t always about the # on the scale, but my fitness level. This helps me in times like now, when my body seems to be holding onto the extra few pounds quite tightly. It would be a lie if I said I wasn’t frustrated sometimes, or annoyed  that those extra few laps around the track felt like they did nothing for my body. However, I try to  focus on that I can actually now DO those extra few laps.

What I’m trying to say is, if you’re new to goal setting or just trying to readjust. Please set yourself up for success and give yourself goals that are just far enough from you that it takes work, but close enough that you can have that push to keep you going.

HAPPY SELF-IMPROVEMENT!

-B

Peak Weight: 235lbs

Start Weight: 225lbs

Current Weight:200.8lbs

Weight loss so far: 34.2lbs

Broken Heart

Broken Heart

Hey all,

Sorry I haven’t really had much time to write any good posts.

If I was honest with myself, I’m not doing really well. My weight loss is staying steady. If anything I’m not loosing or gaining. Sitting at about 203lbs. My weight isn’t really what is upsetting me.

As of yesterday night I am single. They guy I’ve been dating for roughly 10months has split. I’m heartbroken to say the least. I’ll explain later. I just need to go lay down and sleep more. I miss him so much.

Just too sad.

-B