So, Thanksgiving was basically a bust for me. Diet and exercise both really. Everyday I tried to start with the mentality of, start again….and I would kinda lose it through the day. A bite here, a nibble there. Holidays are hard when grandma is trying to be nice and making your favorite dessert for you. So you end up guilt eating it….but lets be honest, it was delicious all the same. Just a little sad when I really did want to eat clean.
So its safe to say I was nervous to step on the scale this morning to see the damage I’d done, and I saw something absolutely shocking.
191.8lbs. Ummm what?! Thats not real. I hit the scale again… and 191.8lbs blinked back at me. I repeated this several times. Went brushed my teeth tried again to just make sure it wasn’t a blip. This morning I was in fact 191.8lbs. What in the heck?! After my mini splurge the weekend prior I was 194.8lbs. That was a 2 1/2lbs gain. After two days of cleaning eating and exercising I started break and ended that cycle. So with the weekend on Thanksgiving I had 6 days off basically. I didn’t step on a scale, diet, or work out at all during this time, none of it. I had a true break from diet and exercise.
I didn’t just maintain, I actually lost weight. What in the actual hell? This just goes to show you, this weight loss journey is absolute shennangiains. The numbers on the scale is truly misleading sometimes. To those of you who wrote to my prior post, maybe you were right. Maybe my body did just need a break from diet and exercise. Not to say that I’m not right back at it starting this week! Here is to getting back into the groove on healthy living.
I realized something through this though. I noticed that even though I was dreading stepping on the scale, I was okay with it.I was at peace. I’m happy, and I hope you all get to feel this way. No matter where you are.
But its nice to have a weight loss go in my favor for once, when I’m used to the reverse situation.
Have a wonderful week lovelies,
Today God decided to randomly to hit me with a bit of perspective in life. It started with talking to my mother about dieting and losing weight. And it actually wasn’t too bad or critical. I could tell she was intentionally walking lightly. Trying to not push and buttons, which I appreciate. But I admitted that more than anything, I wanted to look good at graduation. She responded with, “I would really like you to be happier with yourself.” Without thinking I said, “I hate to break it to you, but I’ll need a lot more than shrinking to make me happy.” She paused for a moment and asked, “what would it take?” And I honestly wasn’t quite sure. I just shrugged it off and somehow pushed the conversation onto something else knowing it was linked to some emotional baggage.
But is stuck with me. What would it take? Honestly. I think thats a question I’ve rarely asked myself. I think its a good question to ask yourself. What would it take to make yourself happy? If your unhappy, what would it take to change that? I had to really sit down and think about it. Losing weight is one for me. Getting healthier and being more active is another. Getting into medical/graduate school would also be big for me. Making better friends. Along with my others that I’m keeping to myself for now. My suggestion to you is Go Make A List! Sometimes list making helps identify what our next move needs to be. What we can actively do to change and reach our goals.
In today’s society we are always told to strive for more, but what are you happy about now? Why aren’t you happy now? Despite motivational things about living in the moment and living for today I find it impossible to do. A mix of media and college saying plan for your future all the time makes it hard. Always having thinking about tomorrow and not now. Not being happy or content where I am at, and always looking to improve since where I am at
is so awful. Not to knock self improvement, by any means. I’m wanting to lose a large amount of weigh for pete sake! But take a moment, is it really so awful? Where you are right now is probably a lot better than what you think. Where did this idea of where you’re at is not good enough to make you happy now come from? My suggestion, Make Another List! For me, I’m thankful for my loving family, no matter how dysFUNctional. For my blessings in life, like my car, my ability to attend school, my phone, the few supportive friends I do have. My freedom as an American and so many others. As I got into it I realized, Its not the happy people that are thankful. Its the thankful people that are happy.
So, what does it take to make you happy? Why aren’t you happy now? Think about it
Just a quick update. A few days ago the scale read the #’s 199.8lbs, but I didn’t want to say anything since I figured it might have been just a random dip. But I went to weigh myself today and I was 198.2! I can officially say I have broke 200lbs! Exciting pictures to be added once I figure out how to get them off my phone. I haven’t been this light since high school! That feels amazing to say. I can’t believe I have gotten this far at all. If I can get this far, I know that over time I can reach my ultimate goal. People are even noticing and asking if I have been loosing weight now. I freaking LOVE that people can physically see the difference. So happy. This is exactly what I needed after my break up with R.
Also, I think I have FINALLY broke my runners slump. I have ran 2 days in a row now and it has ROCKED both times. The first day I had a long distance and 10:31min mile pace over 2.55miles. (Long for me)While today I kept a 9:26pace for 1.2 miles. Yes its short but that was super fast for me. I have only one time (on record) have been faster than that, and it was a freak day. I am so happy! Tonight groceries shopping! Then some TV relax time and a dorm room work out.
I hope you’re all having a great day!
Grace and Peace Friends!
Peak Weight: 235lbs
Start Weight: 225lbs
Weight loss so far: 36.8lbs