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Post Color Run

OH MY GOSH IT WAS AMAZING!!!!!! Loved every minute of it. This is a place holder until later when I can pick really take the time to write how awesome it was.

Grace and Peace,

-B

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Pre 5K color run jitters

Hey guys.

My first ever 5K is tomorrow and it’s the color run. I am SO nervous. I am actually quite terrified. I have no idea how tomorrow is going to go. I am scared, but all my friends are here to support me. I never thought this day would come. I can’t wait! I want to do it, and I don’t all at once…does that even make sense? Here goes nothing in a beautiful sea of color. I can’t wait! Nothing to lose.

Peace, love, and color

-B

Peak Weight: 235lbs

Start Weight: 225lbs

Current Weight:194.6lbs

Weight loss so far: 40.4lbs

TMI

So this post is going to be a little TMI. That means too much information, just to be clear for some of you.  Nothing too graphic, and its not the focus…just..well. If you’re still reading great!

So my running slump has been killing me. Just very disheartening honestly. Since I felt like I was finally making progress. I finally caved after 4 bad runs in a row. I also needed to give my ankle and shin a break. The bruising is coming in quite nicely. I’ll add pictures at the end if any of you care to see the aftermath of being klutzy. But I swam and did abs and arms at the gym this morning. Eating better, since last night was kinda horrible. But I was talking to my roommate. She is a gorgeous in shape exercise science major who has always a runner, so I figure she might have some insight. But apparently the hardest time for a woman to run is the week she is ovulating. Or about the week or 2 before she starts her period(all depends). I did some online reading and a lot of posts actually agree with her. This was really nice to hear since I was just about done with running. So I’m just going to let it be for a bit and work out other ways. Plus my ankle will appreciate it.

On another note, I’ve had a rough patch with my guy and we are working on it, but things have become harder. He is being a bit distant and honestly…this time I didn’t earn it. =( But we are still together working things out. Why are relationships so hard?

Last night I realized though how much I really do emotionally eat. I never really considered myself an emotional eater, more someone who just binges too much and doesn’t know when to quit. In addition to not eating healthy things. But yesterday, after eating out(poorly might I add) I got home and said no more eating tonight. (It was pas 12am anyway)But I found myself binge eating after really bad cravings for salt and chocolate.Yay goldfish crackers and puppy chow.  This craving came almost directly after a really emotional confrontation with my guy. Lately its happened a few times, when something is overwhelming more than anything and I find myself wanting to eat. Not because I’m hungry, I just want to eat a lot. But after I finished I just felt disappointed in myself and sadder. This also could be a combination of PMS, but I just was kind of disgusted with myself this morning. Usually I enjoy weighing myself,ups and downs, but today I avoided it knowing bad numbers would be there and I didn’t want to see it.

On a happier note, these next two nights in a row a few of my friends are coming to visit! I can’t wait ^.^ I’m so blessed with wonderful people in my life. This visiting is just what I need. =] Working all day and then I get to go home soon!

Also I’m prepping to work the summer camp for a week. I’ve attended growing up and now I counsel. Its crazy chaos, but I love it. Can’t wait!

Hope you’re all well and doing better on your diets than I am!

 

-B

Turning 21

So my 21st Birthday weekend. Wrning:scattered writing ahead. Just trying to fit it all in.

It was great! A bit of a let down at points but amazing overall. Jess came up to see me for the weekend so that was nice. I’ve felt really let down by a lot of friends lately. My surprises actually started friday on the 1st where my guy sent me flowers and a teddy bear. Whom I cuddle and sleep with every night now. THE BEAR YOU DIRTY MINDED PEOPLE! ha. Worked a lot that day and finally got my hours up to 20+ or so. The next morning woke up. Kinda waited on my friend Laurel to meet me for breakfast. She backed out and kept me waiting. Almost missed my 90 minute facial appointment at a veda downtown. Luckily they moved in to 1230 for me. It was super nice and relaxing. Laurel ended up reshedualing. On the way home Jess called and got to the dorm! Her, Laurel, and I all went to eat at this Chinese place.Yum! I didn’t eat the best, but I definitely hadn’t been doing horrible.Then ice cream which laurel bough(thanks!) Later went to applebees. I went with her my friend Kayla(whom I love as well!) Marie and Alex my “brother”. Cassie (another brother) showed up last minute as a surprise. Marie bought my dinner. (thank you) and Steven and Randall showed up last minute as we were leaving. I accidentally spilled salad and it got all over my jeans. So we had to pack up and go back to school to change. Changed. and FINALLY the night started. Headed downtown me Jess and Kayla with Steven and Randall in tow. However, Steven called and said he got a call from his GF Meg. UGH. She was cry and said she needed him when they were on a  break and choose my birthday of all nights to reconcile. Lame. Damn me being  good friend. I really like Randall…but I’m so in the friend zone. He could never like a girl like me. But them not going actually ended up being for the better. It was super crowded so going out the few of us was perfect. Me and the 2 girls decided on going downtown to Mojo’s a dueling piano bar with a dance floor and bar upstairs. Oh my god was it fun and super cheap! $3 dollar cover charge(which Jess paid for later thanks!). I didn’t actually drink because I honestly didn’t want to. Wasn’t in the mood and a little sad about my friends not really coming through for me on my birthday. 21 of all birthdays to be let down on, kinda sucks. Oh well. But we mixed it up going from upstairs to downstairs. On the way out I actually saw my boss.I had a blast honestly. Walking home stranger kinda bothered us trying to hit on Jess. I can’t help but wonder, maybe if I was thin and pretty I would have gotten hit on that night. Kayla got asked to dance and so did the collective but I’m pretty sure he meant them. I know this is not living up to the title but I felt low. Its an attempt at confidence. No sucking at it. Oh well. On the upside I did manage to run once. Sunday ran two times. Monday I took a break. I’m starting to wonder if these brooks adrenalines are actually whats starting to hurt my knee. Went to church sunday and it felt great. I made the choice that I want to get more involved. I marked the “I’m interested in a go group” and “learn about mission trips” boxes. Both trying to make me more accountable about church and all. Tomorrow is my very first big. 20 minute run. I don’t know if I can really do this. I’m terrified. But I will try my best. Lord help me.

Peak Weight: 235lbs

Start Weight: 225lbs

Current Weight:211.8lbs

Weight loss so far: 23.2lbs

-B