So, Thanksgiving was basically a bust for me. Diet and exercise both really. Everyday I tried to start with the mentality of, start again….and I would kinda lose it through the day. A bite here, a nibble there. Holidays are hard when grandma is trying to be nice and making your favorite dessert for you. So you end up guilt eating it….but lets be honest, it was delicious all the same. Just a little sad when I really did want to eat clean.
So its safe to say I was nervous to step on the scale this morning to see the damage I’d done, and I saw something absolutely shocking.
191.8lbs. Ummm what?! Thats not real. I hit the scale again… and 191.8lbs blinked back at me. I repeated this several times. Went brushed my teeth tried again to just make sure it wasn’t a blip. This morning I was in fact 191.8lbs. What in the heck?! After my mini splurge the weekend prior I was 194.8lbs. That was a 2 1/2lbs gain. After two days of cleaning eating and exercising I started break and ended that cycle. So with the weekend on Thanksgiving I had 6 days off basically. I didn’t step on a scale, diet, or work out at all during this time, none of it. I had a true break from diet and exercise.
I didn’t just maintain, I actually lost weight. What in the actual hell? This just goes to show you, this weight loss journey is absolute shennangiains. The numbers on the scale is truly misleading sometimes. To those of you who wrote to my prior post, maybe you were right. Maybe my body did just need a break from diet and exercise. Not to say that I’m not right back at it starting this week! Here is to getting back into the groove on healthy living.
I realized something through this though. I noticed that even though I was dreading stepping on the scale, I was okay with it.I was at peace. I’m happy, and I hope you all get to feel this way. No matter where you are.
But its nice to have a weight loss go in my favor for once, when I’m used to the reverse situation.
Have a wonderful week lovelies,
Over Thanksgiving my diet has been wobbly to say the least. I lost the weight from my binge. Gained it. And now loosing it a bit. Lord help my yo-yo diet and weight. But onto the topic of this writing!
I was lucky enough to so something really cool over break, sewing! My grandmother is actually in town for break and we spent some time together doing some sewing. She helped me do some prep, but for the most part with her instruction I did the work. I mended 1 sweater and a skirt. I MADE a brand new skirt. Hemmed and took in 1 pair of jeans, 1 pair of dress pants and a T-shirt. For those of you who don’t sew, that was a solid 4 hours of work. That was with 2 people! I was on a mission!
Quite honestly, when you lose weight, hell when your weight fluctuates drastically up or down, NOTHING fits. I mean absolutely nothing. As awesome as it feels to have clothes be baggy on my new healthier body, having nothing to wear is such a struggle. Waking up in the morning and trying to dress myself in droopy clothes is frustrating. Also, because I know I’m in the middle of my transformation, I don’t wish to go out and spend a ton of money on new clothes that won’t fit in a month or so.
That is why me learning to do even some basic sewing and taking clothes in (yay for shrinking) is a HUGE blessing. I highly encourage those of you out there who are loosing weight to try your hand at it if you can. I mean, if I didn’t adjust a lot of these clothes, I would have thrown them away anyway, so might as well try sewing them. It really isn’t too hard if you go slow and aren’t picky. haha. There are millions of tutorials online if you’re wondering where to start. Long story short, I saved money and expanded my wardrobe by learning (attempting) a new skill. One I hope yo continue and utilize on some of my other pieces of clothing to help save me money as I go.
Hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving,
This weekend was pretty much one of my first major slip ups in quite awhile. Now I’m one of those people who do incorporate my favorite foods into my diet so I don’t get cravings much. With the exception of the very occasional craving for super horrible food from restaurants. Darn you B dubs with your delicious food! haha. But I know for me, my choice to eliminate fast food and restaurant food all together, as much as possible anyway, is the best choice for me. I don’t know about anyone else, but the less junk I have, the less I seem to crave it.
But back to this weekend. I just lost control starting saturday night. It started slow, a few chips and dip at a friends while watching TV. Despite knowing it would push me over my calorie goal without working out at all that day. * Insert facepalm here* Sunday evening being frustrated with my family and eating dinner with them despite knowing I shouldn’t have eaten much more that day, but I didn’t want to fight them anymore. A hot meal is always tempting. They eat so freaking late at night! I just can’t seem to wait. Then my sister bringing me my absolute favorite peanut butter and banana Coldstone ice cream. She was trying to being nice because she knew I was stressed about my neurobiology test today. In addition to having a freaky allergic reaction that day, I found myself binge eating while studying early into the morning.
And boy am I paying for it. I gained a grand total of 3lbs this weekend in the course of 2 really 1 1/2 days. I was 1lb away from the 180s. God I hate my metabolism sometimes. Because, when looking back, I didn’t portion control much, but I didn’t eat too horrible either. I’m just a little frustrated with myself for letting it happen. As well as knowing that normal people, could probably have eaten what I did, and maintained. =( I know my body isn’t theirs, and I need to accept it for what it is. But sometimes I just wish I could have a maintaining weight potential. I’m always loosing or gaining. Unlike my mother and sister who gorge themselves silly and still are so pretty and thin.
Reality Check Time:
Never, give up. This is a journey. Not a one time shot. There are downs to your ups, and this is mine. So even though I lost control this weekend, its no excuse to continue a downward spiral today. If anything its reason to hit the gym harder. To eat cleaner. So enough of this pity party and lets get back to it.
Its not perfection, but persistence and consistency that is the key.
Much love to you all. Hope you have a great Thanksgiving.
This post got really long, so I broke it up into two parts.
So, as I’ve been going through this transformation from fat to fit, I’ve had just about a million different thoughts as far as health is concerned. My brain has spent countless hours thinking about nutrition, health, body composition, metabolism, fitness, diet and tons of others. Between media alone its easy to get wrapped up in all the different body’s of thinking as far as getting healthy goes.
Just about every diet imaginable exists. There’s paleo, vegetarian, pescatarian, vegan, south beach, weight watchers, detox diets, juice cleanses, “military meals”, fasting just to name a few. All have their pros and cons. So how in the world am I supposed to know what to eat? I mean the pin on pinterest disagrees with what this post on Facebook says. The news is telling me that I just need to take an Acaci berry mix to boost my metabolism while Dr. Oz is giving me lists of “super meals”…these are not directly quoted things, but I think most people can agree that these are very close to reality and it’s really hard to decipher whats what when it comes to nutrition via media. Despite there being actually really great resources existing among the junk.
What I believe is a large problem in the US, is the lack of basic understanding as far as nutrition goes. The aforementioned media does not contribute to solving this confusion. Its something that is assumed is taught in the home, and unlike many other (skinnier) countries, the US is one of the few places that does not actually teach nutrition in HEALTH CLASS or PE. Does this not seem
ass backwards to anyone? Its health class, shouldn’t I be taught how to nourish my body? I know that alcohol and drugs are bad, which is generally the focus (at least it was in all the variations I took through the years) but whats the point of avoiding those things if my body is already treated as a waste container with all the junk food I’m giving it? But I digress.
One minute something is bad for you, the next day its a superfood. (see past articles on eggs and their cholesterol vs. protein) You shouldn’t eat carbs, but eat healthy things like lots of fruit….but thats a carb? Diet pop (soda) is actually worse for you than regular (soda), and while eating dried fruit over that bag of lays chips is great, drying fruit can eliminate 30-80% of the vitamin and antioxidant content. So I decided to write out a few things I know to be absolutely true when it comes to a healthy diet. Feel free to do more research. I’d love to hear about it =]
Continue onto the next post if ya wish.
So this is a mini rant.
Living at home has brought all sorts of new challenges. Learning to function with the family unit once again, dealing with my parents and siblings, as well as balancing home life with school. But I think the biggest struggle has been the lack of support for my healthy lifestyle.
My family eats garbage. Their diet is absolutely HORRIBLE, I repeat, horrible. The fact that they know I’m dieting and still offer me pizza and take out and candy left and right is infuriating.I now understand how my problems with food started.
I appreciate them, I do, but come on. Their meal plan is awful, and I try to work in eating with them. But when I try to pre plan my day and ask whats to eat, they can’t answer. Then they cannot be upset when I don’t join them for steak tacos at 8pm. By that time I’ve planned my meals and don’t have a ton of calories to be throwing around on a meal. So please quit making me feel guilty about not eating it.
Trust me. I want to eat all these delicious things so
DAMN bad. I would if I could. But my body doesn’t allow for that to be a thing. So please quit tempting me and stuffing the cupboard full of crap.
Okay. End of rant. Much love!
In addition to healthy eating I believe it’s important to keep your living space healthy as well. I’m not talking about cleanliness, though it is supposedly next to godliness. I’m talking about clutter. The clutter I accumulate oh so easily with my sentimental/hoarder ways. The biggest problem for me is clothes. Especially with how drastically my weight fluctuation is, its hard to let go of clothes. Even though I may not have worn it in ages, despite weight gain or loss, the voice in the back of my head says, “What if you NEED it later?” So I’ve been planning what I’ve labeled as, “The Purge”. I went through my whole closet tried EVERYTHING on and downsized. If I hesitated, I kept the mantra of there is something better that I’d rather wear. GET RID OF IT! I also had to rule of, if it went into the trash bag, it was NOT allowed to come out. I then reorganized my closet and took the bag to the mission. I believe it is more important to try to donate to homeless shelters than places like Goodwill when possible. Not to knock them, since I shop there all the time, just personal views. Honestly, it feels great! I feel like I’ve eliminated a ton of junk. This is also going to help a ton with summer coming to an end and yet another move coming my way.No point in moving and carrying things around I won’t wear or want to keep. Next on the list is the jewelry and bathroom purge. But those are way less time consuming that the closet. So yay!
Diet has been going okay. I’ve had a hard time starting back up with mini binges but I think I’ve finally gotten it under control. I realize for me the tradition has to be a bit slower to avoid feeling like I’m starving right off the bat. I found this is easiest for me since its a drastic adjustment because my struggle is portions, and I’m used to just filling myself. Instead of cutting off right away slowly doing it helps me stay on track. I’m proud to say I am down to 209.6 lbs! Which means I get my first “reward” off my list. Pedicure time with mom! =] Super excited and happy to be losing weight once again.
Have a great week everyone!
Peak Weight: 235lbs
Start Weight: 225lbs
Weight loss so far: 25.4lbs
So this post is going to be a little TMI. That means too much information, just to be clear for some of you. Nothing too graphic, and its not the focus…just..well. If you’re still reading great!
So my running slump has been killing me. Just very disheartening honestly. Since I felt like I was finally making progress. I finally caved after 4 bad runs in a row. I also needed to give my ankle and shin a break. The bruising is coming in quite nicely. I’ll add pictures at the end if any of you care to see the aftermath of being klutzy. But I swam and did abs and arms at the gym this morning. Eating better, since last night was kinda horrible. But I was talking to my roommate. She is a gorgeous in shape exercise science major who has always a runner, so I figure she might have some insight. But apparently the hardest time for a woman to run is the week she is ovulating. Or about the week or 2 before she starts her period(all depends). I did some online reading and a lot of posts actually agree with her. This was really nice to hear since I was just about done with running. So I’m just going to let it be for a bit and work out other ways. Plus my ankle will appreciate it.
On another note, I’ve had a rough patch with my guy and we are working on it, but things have become harder. He is being a bit distant and honestly…this time I didn’t earn it. =( But we are still together working things out. Why are relationships so hard?
Last night I realized though how much I really do emotionally eat. I never really considered myself an emotional eater, more someone who just binges too much and doesn’t know when to quit. In addition to not eating healthy things. But yesterday, after eating out(poorly might I add) I got home and said no more eating tonight. (It was pas 12am anyway)But I found myself binge eating after really bad cravings for salt and chocolate.Yay goldfish crackers and puppy chow. This craving came almost directly after a really emotional confrontation with my guy. Lately its happened a few times, when something is overwhelming more than anything and I find myself wanting to eat. Not because I’m hungry, I just want to eat a lot. But after I finished I just felt disappointed in myself and sadder. This also could be a combination of PMS, but I just was kind of disgusted with myself this morning. Usually I enjoy weighing myself,ups and downs, but today I avoided it knowing bad numbers would be there and I didn’t want to see it.
On a happier note, these next two nights in a row a few of my friends are coming to visit! I can’t wait ^.^ I’m so blessed with wonderful people in my life. This visiting is just what I need. =] Working all day and then I get to go home soon!
Also I’m prepping to work the summer camp for a week. I’ve attended growing up and now I counsel. Its crazy chaos, but I love it. Can’t wait!
Hope you’re all well and doing better on your diets than I am!
So my 21st Birthday weekend. Wrning:scattered writing ahead. Just trying to fit it all in.
It was great! A bit of a let down at points but amazing overall. Jess came up to see me for the weekend so that was nice. I’ve felt really let down by a lot of friends lately. My surprises actually started friday on the 1st where my guy sent me flowers and a teddy bear. Whom I cuddle and sleep with every night now.
THE BEAR YOU DIRTY MINDED PEOPLE! ha. Worked a lot that day and finally got my hours up to 20+ or so. The next morning woke up. Kinda waited on my friend Laurel to meet me for breakfast. She backed out and kept me waiting. Almost missed my 90 minute facial appointment at a veda downtown. Luckily they moved in to 1230 for me. It was super nice and relaxing. Laurel ended up reshedualing. On the way home Jess called and got to the dorm! Her, Laurel, and I all went to eat at this Chinese place.Yum! I didn’t eat the best, but I definitely hadn’t been doing horrible.Then ice cream which laurel bough(thanks!) Later went to applebees. I went with her my friend Kayla(whom I love as well!) Marie and Alex my “brother”. Cassie (another brother) showed up last minute as a surprise. Marie bought my dinner. (thank you) and Steven and Randall showed up last minute as we were leaving. I accidentally spilled salad and it got all over my jeans. So we had to pack up and go back to school to change. Changed. and FINALLY the night started. Headed downtown me Jess and Kayla with Steven and Randall in tow. However, Steven called and said he got a call from his GF Meg. UGH. She was cry and said she needed him when they were on a break and choose my birthday of all nights to reconcile. Lame. Damn me being good friend. I really like Randall…but I’m so in the friend zone. He could never like a girl like me. But them not going actually ended up being for the better. It was super crowded so going out the few of us was perfect. Me and the 2 girls decided on going downtown to Mojo’s a dueling piano bar with a dance floor and bar upstairs. Oh my god was it fun and super cheap! $3 dollar cover charge(which Jess paid for later thanks!). I didn’t actually drink because I honestly didn’t want to. Wasn’t in the mood and a little sad about my friends not really coming through for me on my birthday. 21 of all birthdays to be let down on, kinda sucks. Oh well. But we mixed it up going from upstairs to downstairs. On the way out I actually saw my boss.I had a blast honestly. Walking home stranger kinda bothered us trying to hit on Jess. I can’t help but wonder, maybe if I was thin and pretty I would have gotten hit on that night. Kayla got asked to dance and so did the collective but I’m pretty sure he meant them. I know this is not living up to the title but I felt low. Its an attempt at confidence. No sucking at it. Oh well. On the upside I did manage to run once. Sunday ran two times. Monday I took a break. I’m starting to wonder if these brooks adrenalines are actually whats starting to hurt my knee. Went to church sunday and it felt great. I made the choice that I want to get more involved. I marked the “I’m interested in a go group” and “learn about mission trips” boxes. Both trying to make me more accountable about church and all. Tomorrow is my very first big. 20 minute run. I don’t know if I can really do this. I’m terrified. But I will try my best. Lord help me.
Peak Weight: 235lbs
Start Weight: 225lbs
Weight loss so far: 23.2lbs