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Sloppy Eating Slip Ups =/ -Brutal Honesty and Reality Checks

Hey all,

This weekend was pretty much one of my first major slip ups in quite awhile. Now I’m one of those people who do incorporate my favorite foods into my diet so I don’t get cravings much. With the exception of the very occasional craving for super horrible food from restaurants. Darn you B dubs with your delicious food! haha. But I know for me, my choice to eliminate fast food and restaurant food all together, as much as possible anyway, is the best choice for me. I don’t know about anyone else, but the less junk I have, the less I seem to crave it.

But back to this weekend. I just lost control starting saturday night. It started slow, a few chips and dip at a friends while watching TV. Despite knowing it would push me over my calorie goal without working out at all that day. * Insert facepalm here* Sunday evening being frustrated with my family and eating dinner with them despite knowing I shouldn’t have eaten much more that day, but I didn’t want to fight them anymore. A hot meal is always tempting. They eat so freaking late at night! I just can’t seem to wait. Then my sister bringing me my absolute favorite peanut butter and banana Coldstone ice cream. She was trying to being nice because she knew I was stressed about my neurobiology test today. In addition to having a freaky allergic reaction that day, I found myself binge eating while studying early into the morning.

And boy am I paying for it. I gained a grand total of 3lbs this weekend in the course of 2 really 1 1/2 days. I was 1lb away from the 180s. God I hate my metabolism sometimes. Because, when looking back, I didn’t portion control much, but I didn’t eat too horrible either. I’m just a little frustrated with myself for letting it happen. As well as knowing that normal people, could probably have eaten what I did, and maintained. =( I know my body isn’t theirs, and I need to accept it for what it is. But sometimes I just wish I could have a maintaining weight potential. I’m always loosing or gaining. Unlike my mother and sister who gorge themselves silly and still are so pretty and thin.

Reality Check Time:

Never, give up. This is a journey. Not a one time shot. There are downs to your ups, and this is mine. So even though I lost control this weekend, its no excuse to continue a downward spiral today. If anything its reason to hit the gym harder. To eat cleaner. So enough of this pity party and lets get back to it.

How I'm feeling right now...

How I’m feeling right now…

Its not perfection, but persistence and consistency that is the key.

Much love to you all. Hope you have a great Thanksgiving.

-B

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TMI

So this post is going to be a little TMI. That means too much information, just to be clear for some of you.  Nothing too graphic, and its not the focus…just..well. If you’re still reading great!

So my running slump has been killing me. Just very disheartening honestly. Since I felt like I was finally making progress. I finally caved after 4 bad runs in a row. I also needed to give my ankle and shin a break. The bruising is coming in quite nicely. I’ll add pictures at the end if any of you care to see the aftermath of being klutzy. But I swam and did abs and arms at the gym this morning. Eating better, since last night was kinda horrible. But I was talking to my roommate. She is a gorgeous in shape exercise science major who has always a runner, so I figure she might have some insight. But apparently the hardest time for a woman to run is the week she is ovulating. Or about the week or 2 before she starts her period(all depends). I did some online reading and a lot of posts actually agree with her. This was really nice to hear since I was just about done with running. So I’m just going to let it be for a bit and work out other ways. Plus my ankle will appreciate it.

On another note, I’ve had a rough patch with my guy and we are working on it, but things have become harder. He is being a bit distant and honestly…this time I didn’t earn it. =( But we are still together working things out. Why are relationships so hard?

Last night I realized though how much I really do emotionally eat. I never really considered myself an emotional eater, more someone who just binges too much and doesn’t know when to quit. In addition to not eating healthy things. But yesterday, after eating out(poorly might I add) I got home and said no more eating tonight. (It was pas 12am anyway)But I found myself binge eating after really bad cravings for salt and chocolate.Yay goldfish crackers and puppy chow.  This craving came almost directly after a really emotional confrontation with my guy. Lately its happened a few times, when something is overwhelming more than anything and I find myself wanting to eat. Not because I’m hungry, I just want to eat a lot. But after I finished I just felt disappointed in myself and sadder. This also could be a combination of PMS, but I just was kind of disgusted with myself this morning. Usually I enjoy weighing myself,ups and downs, but today I avoided it knowing bad numbers would be there and I didn’t want to see it.

On a happier note, these next two nights in a row a few of my friends are coming to visit! I can’t wait ^.^ I’m so blessed with wonderful people in my life. This visiting is just what I need. =] Working all day and then I get to go home soon!

Also I’m prepping to work the summer camp for a week. I’ve attended growing up and now I counsel. Its crazy chaos, but I love it. Can’t wait!

Hope you’re all well and doing better on your diets than I am!

 

-B