So I have been away for quite awhile.School has been super busy and kicking my butt quite honestly. I’m trying to keep up, but it has been really hard. My residents are awesome this year. I’m trying to keep a balance between them and my old/new friends. I just never know how to be anymore.
I’m feeling lost. R and I are fighting more than ever. He found out he has kids and there is a WHOLE TON of baby mama drama. He has been getting so frustrated, but takes it out on me. I’m getting tired of it, but I am so absolutely in love with him. It took awhile but now we are almost at the year mark and I know in my heart, if I was honest, I do love him. I love him so very much. It sucks because I feel its end coming. I feel so helpless and wanting to be with him all the time. Its so upsetting to feel this way.
So I have slipped up a bit. I am back to 197.8lbs. Its so hard to eat healthy on campus. I swear I just need to forget about it. But I want to keep going.So I am trying to set the 10 day goal. But in those 10 days I need to work out every other day. Which would be 5 total if not more. I also need to pick up my running. I came so far, only to slip back. I need to gain some diligence in my life.To refocus it I suppose.
I want to be more involved in church. Mostly small group stuff. I am thinking about that and being more active on campus through pre med club, chemistry club, and amnesty international. I also need to volunteer ASAP.All this med school stuff, I feel so behind and it is upsetting to no end.
I just need to pray for grace,guidance, and peacefulness.
Thanks for listening.
As jumbled as it was.